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[04 Apr 2009|11:07pm] |
poisonous kiss
lecherous bliss
treacherous
missing you
set yourself up {for}
the next apocalypse
conflict
the weight one sided
d i v i d e d
from you
hearts trusted
lusted {drink me dry}
puristic
statistics
the specifics
a-strictly-need-to-know-oasis
the basics
assume
swallow the moon
gravitate
closer
even closer to you
this is how it starts
fall apart
lure the heart
to edit out
stalling lungs
broken tongues
aging frames
growing range
we-are-no-longer-at-arms-strength
the length of time between us
defines you {you're beautiful}
design you {equip my love}
i find you when you're distant
in an instant
further than the minds eye
further than the word goodbye
20,000 breaths away from
the memory of light
when i close my eyes tight
sight
bright
your smile
it was your smile
illuminating my hold
mold
create
anticipate
smear your touch
onto me {into me}
shy of the stun
you are the sun
apprehend
condescend
amend
made for you
made for i cannot live without
the nocturne
repress {i want you}
expect less
comprehend
every night alone
two abstract {attack}
you're the biggest star
far
i am close range
the same {cage}
come to me
stay inside
locked doors
remind {decide}
all i need is you
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[09 Dec 2008|07:16pm] |
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it's the holiday season& it seems to be anything but magical. the things that should come easy are making themselves more of a triple threat then ever. i thought by christmas everything would come together, all the scattered pieces of my life would take form&& the rough edges would make sense, come together& i would find myself completely astounded by the big picture. the big picture was always the same in my head. i know exactly what i want it to look liek. i know there are always set backs to the things we crave most in life, but i feel as if i have been waiting these long twenty three years, all for you. the stress is almost unbearable this holiday. i feel no sense of happiness& i see now that it's not going to pass. the air feels thick, when i try to breathe it does not come easy, my chest rises high&freezes. i really want you to be here for christmas but i know that is impossible. i was settling for bringing in the new year with you by my side. the new year would bring the rest of our lives. i finally wanted it to be my time, where the only worry you really find yourself stuck on anymore is how to please each other, what to make for dinner, & finding directions to the nearest stores. i would consider this a test against our fate to be one but it seems liek we are always being tested. i know that no matter what i have to go through to be with you, i will always want to be with you. i know there's days when my heart explodes when i am with you, the smell of your sent& my sights set on you, i find myself crying when your sleeping. your the only person that has ever made me cry out of being happy &i know that means you are worth waiting for, you will always have my forever. all i can think is of how much i want you here& how much i need you here& how much three weeks seems liek a life time. i don't know how to make myself feel excited when i know that everything is up in smoke. all our lives are being decided by others& right now, i wish it was just me& you writing our own destiny. i hate how it feels liek everyone is trying to stop us from being together. you are what i've wanted my entire life. &i love you& i know that no matter what's to come no one can take the fact that i love you away from me. i will spend the rest of my life loving you. you are my favorite, everything. (i'll finish this later, it's here for safe keeping)
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| sever's disease |
[03 Dec 2008|12:02pm] |
my heart sinks
into the sound
of your voice
my lungs float
eyes closed
falling into
memories
when i would
breathe you in
recollections
of sensations
only you
could give
my favorite sin.
i miss you feeling your way around inside me.
(i want to
trace
your footsteps
behind you
marking
the places
that you've been
i want to trace
my footsteps
beside you
as our forever
together begins.)
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| this is better than the discovery channel |
[02 Dec 2008|05:54pm] |
i wouldn't change you ever, baby.
i wouldn't change you ever.
in the language of love,
i am missing all the right adjectives,
that make up you.
for you i love always&i promise.
hurryhurryhurry
youholdmyheartinsideyou.
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| waiting for breakfast |
[21 Nov 2008|02:50am] |
cigarettes&lungs pushes time foward;
embers&ashes imitate dirty snowflakes
while static confuses embellished emptiness}
the sound; slowly envelopes tears
distractions appear& in a split second;
i am finding myself discontinued.
willing&able to breathe on my own}
guitars softly coax me;
falling into the rhythm of fingertips&string
but just when i trust in the moment
a dangerous sequence of cords
takes me right back to you;
where your calloused hands kiss me
and i miss you.
((((i miss you liek i've been missing you forever))))
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| when the beat drops... the snare gets drowned in the sound; |
[18 Nov 2008|05:57am] |
i feel dramatic.
almost cardboard liek a cut out&&someone is trying to fill me,
donating organs&&air.
trying desperately to bring me to life.
thoughts are stuttering into me.
concrete slowly taking the form of saliva.
it's hard to breathe. is this the first time?}}
i feel so unfocused...&&yet something keeps me from sleep.
but i'm trying to stay centered.
there's no one around when i lose my balance anymore.
concentrating on you takes me in so many different directions.
things settled are always unsettling.
////pure is impure
impure is pure////
do you speak me-anese?
has anyone ever?
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| which way is it to the nearest entrance? |
[27 Jun 2008|08:04pm] |
i'm worried.
i would explain why but i don't think i could.
i've been spending a lot of time thinking about things that aren't mine.
where have you been?
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| an update for cuppy |
[17 Sep 2005|02:22pm] |
( i want to mold myself around your body )
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[26 Nov 2003|06:18am] |
WHAT IS TRUST TO YOU?
FRIENDS ONLY.
COMMENT TO BE ADDED.
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[26 Nov 2003|05:55am] |
CRACK YOUR HEART OUT;
//1; I RELY ON MY MEMORIES OF YOU TO SING ME TO SLEEP.
//2; IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE BECOME JUST ANOTHER STORY I TELL.
//3; I WISH I COULD RECORD YOUR WORDS AND PLAY THEM BACK EVERY TIME I FELT LIKE THIS.
//4; YOU'RE THE PERFECT BLEND OF HEAVEN AND HELL.
//5; I AM JUST A SINGER TO A THOUSAND LONELY LOVE SONGS.
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